Silverdown's Journal

10:46am: Just a little post
It's been a while.

Well, in less then a month I will be getting married. I figured this one should be a keeper because all of my friends who have met him like him. :-P On top of that we will be moving to Philadelphia, PA where I will be starting into a PhD program in Biology and Geology at Drexel University! I am incredibly excited. I will be working under a paleontologist who does work in Argentina and Egypt and I will be able to take classes at the University of Pennsylvania under a world renowned paleontologist. I am such a nerd.

7:24pm: Been a long month
It's been a long month for everyone that is from the coast for sure. I know I haven't posted in a while. My parents lost pretty much everything from the Hurricane. I am back in Tallahassee. Luckly I will be graduating this semester so I can help my parents out until the wedding and Grad stuff.

Sarah, can you do me a favor and mentally go through what was in my room at home and list everything you can think of no matter how small. I figured that since you stayed there for a while, you might remember things that I may have forgotten. We need that for FEMA and IRS stuff.

10:24am: Pick up line I heard on the radio...Sarah, you will enjoy this one
If you were a booger, I would pick you first.

11:20am: I really don't want to be at work
I am currently avoiding doing work as long as possible. I am currently at work and somehow staring at a computer and working on a database today does not sound like fun. It rained non-stop in Tallahassee; we received around 6 inches of rain because of Dennis. I wish I had something cool to report, but it's just the regular humdrum of school and work.

11:03pm: Nothing too much has happened around here that I can report. Ashley and I have decided to go away to get married. He and I are probably going to go the the Bahamas. It is going to be my parents, sibilings (Cristina because she is basicly family), Sarah, Aunt Ruth, Ash's parents, sister, brother-in-law, nephew and maybe one of his friends. Come to think of it I haven't talked to Andrew and Christina to tell them, well, they will be happy because it will be a free vacation :-) For the hundred other people that we were going to invite to the big wedding here in the States, we are going to hold a few (2 or 3) wedding showers for friends and family. I know that his parents are going to hold one for family (although it may primarly be a shower for his side) . We are going to have Sarah and whomever of his friends to host one (and no Sarah, you don't have to do too much) for friends. My parents may also hold one at home (that's a maybe depending on how many people I want to invite from my home region, I know at least 20). We just don't know if we will hold them as showers before the wedding, or receptions afterward. Either way, we figure we may end up with the same amount of gifts ;-D


There is one person that I would like to talk to about all of this, but I can't talk to her. It's really complicated. I she was a good, wise friend when I needed one. Someone who I told things that I didn't tell anyone. I haven't talked to her in over a year, and at this point I don't feel like it is right for me to call her (not just because of the year thing, but other things too). I just sometimes wish that she were online so that I could talk to her. That's just the way things are sometimes.

12:41pm: Ok, so I won't go too much into the engagement thing. Not that I am not excited, because I am. I guess because there's so much to do and so much focus from everyone about the wedding that I just don't want to talk about it too much here.

What I will say is that Ashley propsed on a beach when we were in the Bahamas this past week. It was totally unexpected (kind of), I expected a proposal like next year. Not that I am complaining. He is a really sweet guy. It's kind of cute that he is more into the planning of the wedding than I am! Well, we plan on getting married in May of next year, hopefully at Bellingrath gardens (we are still working on the money issue). So far I have asked two people to be my bridesmaids, I have two more to ask and then I have to find a fifth (Ashley insists on having 5 groomsmen). I have asked Sarah to be the maid of honor and Crystal to be one of the bridesmaids. I will have to ask Rita over email because she is still in Armenia. The other person I should have asked when I saw her last because I don't know when I will see her again in person. It's just that everything was so new and I had just told my parents and such that I was in overload adn just couldn't ask at that point. I just need to find someone to be the fifth person. It sucks that all of my friends are guys! Oh well.

Other than all of that I have classes and stuff. You know, the usual routine. I will graduate in December and then I will go to Philly for a couple of months to learn how to do prep lab work for fossils and then hopefully, crossing fingers hard, I will get into a PhD program somewhere. I don't know where yet. I'll just have to see......

7:02pm: What can I say....I have a ring on a finger that I have never worn a ring on....yup...that means I am engaged. More on it later....

12:16pm: Of all days....
Of all the days to wear my new white long-sleeve top...and it rains...low and behold my umbrella is in my car, across campus in the parking garage....Now I am wet and shivering and hiding in my office until my shirt is dry...sigh....

10:08am: Been a long road
Here I am at Florida State University...It's alright, but I really miss State. Right now I am procrastinating studying for embryology...sigh. I was reading some of my past posts and realize that I do want to keep up with a journal of some kind now. Some of the post brought back some really happy memories. I need those sometimes (not that things are bad or anything). Ashley is doing well. He just got back from a conference. I miss living with him; it's so annoying that here I can't live with him unless we are married (damn conservatist south). I have a paper coming up and I need to do a bit of research on it. It's on the viviparous reptiles (aka reptiles that give live birth). I have decided that what will make my career as a paleontologist is to find a dinosaur giving live birth....yeah.....

10:55pm: So it's been a while since I posted last. I guess that I have this thing about typing in a journal. There is something cold and inhuman about it. I just feel like the uniform letters hold no emotion. I am going to begin a journal in a real notebook, at least as soon as I get one. You can just read more into what a person has to say at a moment in time by their handwriting. I will continue to post on lj whenever I think about it.

It's just so different being away from the people whose entries I read. I wanted to write more when I was around them, but not so much any more. I know that I have changed, living away from almost everyone that you know and living in an unfamiliar city will do that to you. I do like DC. I will miss it when I leave, but I am just not a city person. Lately I have been missing Montana. I can close my eyes and smell the air and see the mountains. I wish that I could go back for just a week or two. Things were so simple there

11:22am:

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Creativity
In a survival situation, you:	Fight, and enjoy it
Your hidden talent is:	Courage
Your gift is:	Genius
In groups, you:	Perfer to act as security
Your best quality is:	Your abundant energy
Your weakness is:	Your furious temper
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

3:26pm: Why I walk to work
well, I was meeting Ashley at the Smithsonian Metro Station last night so that we could take a walk and see the cherry blossoms together. I arrived at the station and waited for him. Right in front of me were 4 armed guards with semi-automatic rifles, pistols strapped to their thighs, to their waists, and 3 German Shepards that looked like they were going to attack anyone just for the sake of laughs.

After sitting there watching them feeling rather intimated (not by them but by why they are out there), I decided that it was worth the 4 miles of exercise to walk to and from work.

9:24am: Well, here I am at work trying to figure out what to do today...BTW, AJ did you get my email I sent you. If not then just email me and I will send it again.

3:13pm: Day
It's been a bad day. It's been a bad weekend. I have wanted to cry since Saturday and haven't. I have never been so disappointed in my life. I think I will manage to when I get home from work because I can't help but being hurt now from other stuff.

3:00pm: WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T I EVEN HEARD BACK FROM ONE GRAD SCHOOL YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .....i think i am going to cry....

1:54pm: I am about to go insane!!!
I still haven't heard back from any colleges. I am so stressed about it especially since everyone else seems to have been hearing from them! I think that the worse part is that I want to at least have an idea of where I am going so that I can tell Ashley. He is trying to get a job where ever I go. The main problem is that I don't know where I am going yet and he has a job conference at the beginning of next month.

I have not been able to concentrate on work all day. I think that I am going to go home early and do work there on my computer.

On a happy note, I think that Ashley is planning on taking me somewhere for the weekend. I don't know for sure or where yet, but he asked if I would be able to pick up and leave this weekend.

9:57am: For Sarah to go to more or less


Which Disney Princess are you?

3:51pm: Killing time
It's toward the end of the work day again. I hate to start a project right now just because all the employees are getting kicked out in a little over an hour because they are turning out the power for the night in order to test the emergency system. I have gotten a lot accomplished so far. I am really excited that I may get to try and get a publication from the work that I am doing here. I'm excited about that. That would be 4 publications!!! I am such a nerd.

By the way, is there anyone out there who knows how databases are put together and written (in any other program besides Excel) or where I could find out the information. I am working on the Paleobiology database (which is the largest database of fossils). I am actually working on the database that started the Paleobiology database (ETE Database). Right now I am just doing data entry; however, my next project will be restructuring part of the database. I just want to read up on databases and how they are created and such. Plus I would like to do a minor database for my San Salvador research.

12:40pm: Question
I have a question for anyone and everyone. Do you think animals have emotions? What emotions and what animals? And do you think that what you may consider as emotions of animals actual emotions or instinct?

9:57am: This day started very well, then within minutes it has crumbled....
So the day started out well. Ashley and I didn't want to get up. We finally got up at 8:20 and we both have to leave for work by 8:30. Needless to say, I didn't get a shower. That was fine though because it was nice to just lay there this morning. So he ran off to work. Before I left, I wanted to clean a little because we are fortunate enough to have housekeeping vacume on Fridays. Well, I wanted to wear the earrings that he gave me about 6 months ago. I always put them on my nightstand at night because I can't wear them to bed. Well, I look on the nightstand and they are not there. I start to tear the place apart and I still can't find them. Finally, I found one under the bed against the post. The only way it could have gotten there was if a vacume pushed it. I still didn't find the other one. I am really upset about it. I am going to tell him the truth, but I am tempted to try and find otu where he got them and see if I can get it replaced without him knowing. I know that I won't do that just because I can't lie to him. Then, I finally leave and get to the metro and realized that I haven't taken my medicine. So I walk back to the apartment, grab my medicine and walk back. I was then an hour late for work and I feel bad about that. I feel horrible about the earring. And I just don't feel good. Hopefully the day gets better. I feel really bad because I think Ashley is bringing home flowers tonight....That would really suck..... :-(

6:36pm: This explains a lot....

silverdown Feeder Goldfish Agility 10 | Strength 6 | Stamina 1 Battle Rating 17 Origins silverdown was created by a scientific experiment gone wrong Can your fishy beat silverdown ?

4:00pm: Nature....
Today I haven't done too much at work. I suppose that it was just one of those days (I guess that I get to have that because I worked yesterday). One of the cool things about working in the Smithsonian is getting to see as many IMax shows as I want for free. As an assignment for this week, I was required to go watch the Jane Goodall film that is playing. It was absolutely amazing. It has definitely encouraged my desires to be a successful scientist (not that I am not highly motivated). I do want to make contributions to the scientific world. I want to travel everywhere and see everything. I want to learn everything there is to learn.

I always imaged myself as a 19th century naturalist. At least that is what I hope to become. Those scientists were not overly specialized as they are today. Rather they found out everything that they could about the natural environment and then put all the facts together to find out what is going on all over.

Perhaps one day I will be that kind of scientist. I don't want to make scientific contributions so that my name will live on. I want to make them so that others can understand science just a little more and so that one more piece of the giant puzzel of the universe has been put into place.

2:57pm: Working on a national holiday.....
I had fun this weekend. Ashley and I were supposed to go to Philly on Saturday, but I kinda messed up the directions (oops) and then decided to go to Atlantic City. We pretty much wondered around the boardwalk all afternoon. We saw most of the places where you can land in Monopoly. We also went to a comedy club. The comedians there were pretty damn funny.

Last night I had another dream about Sarah. I remember parts now, but I remembered it all when I woke up. Basically, I think she came and visited me this spring. I remember that we had a good time, but there was something wrong. Not that we were upset with each other in the dream, but something was not normal. In the dream Sarah had a new haircut that I hadn't seen before. But that wasn't the abnormal thing. Maybe I am on the same wavelength as Sarah and I am sensing that something is wrong....I think I am going to call her tonight. I was supposed to last night, but I fell asleep too early. Maybe she posted today......

5:11pm: ..sigh...
did Sarah fall off the face of the earth?

9:45am: Weird dreams
I had the weirdest dreams last night. One of them Sarah was in it and she was mad at me that I haven't called her when I had. She also said that she made plans with someone else during spring break and wouldn't come to DC to visit. That dream was pretty upsetting.

Then I had a dream that I was sitting in the apartment with Ashley. Tony walked in and apologized for everything and said that he wanted to be with me. I just looked at him then I looked at Ashley (who said nothing). I finally replied, "no, I am happy here. I love Ashley and won't leave him for you or anybody." Then the dream ended.

The really weird thing about those dreams was that I could see the people's faces clearly (normally people in my dreams don't have a face I just know who they are) and I could hear the voices clearly.

sigh.....I hope that you can still make it during spring break sarah.....